Aaaah, finally the end of a long, neverending, draining day--cannot wait to to get home--almost there.
Oh no. My phone is ringing again.
His voice sounds frail, fading...."Honey can you come over? I don't feel well."
Ummm, no. I can't....I really can't.....I have plans....I was going to....
flop on the couch
eat the lunch I never got to
go for a relaxing walk with my dog while the sun is still out
But I can hear it in his voice----
I don't want to be alone
What is happening to my body??
"Sure, I'll be there in twenty minutes"
His color is grayish-yellow. I get that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Both of us know but neither of us says it---what the doctor has told him---that it doesn't look good.
"Well, your blood pressure is good and your lungs are clear." We visit for quite a while and talk about everyday things--make light conversation.
I get it
Sometimes you just need another person there---another human being to make you feel normal, reassured, alive.
I can't cure him
I can't take away all of his fear and pain
I can't even promise him that he will see his granddaughter's next birthday
But I can be present--be with him---let him know that he is not alone
And I can give him
Hope that everything will be allright.....just maybe not in the way he thought it would be
I'm sure of it...
hope that everything will be
Way better than he could ever have imagined