Tuesday, March 24, 2015


Aaaah, finally the end of a long, neverending,  draining day--cannot wait to to get home--almost there. 

Oh no.  My phone is ringing again.

His voice sounds frail, fading...."Honey can you come over?  I don't feel well."

Ummm, no.  I can't....I really can't.....I have plans....I was going to....

flop on the couch
eat the lunch I never got to
go for a relaxing walk with my dog while the sun is still out
But I can hear it in his voice----
I'm scared
I don't want to be alone
What is happening to my body??
"Sure, I'll be there in twenty minutes"
His color is grayish-yellow.  I get that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Both of us know but neither of us says it---what the doctor has told him---that it doesn't look good.
"Well, your blood pressure is good and your lungs are clear."  We visit for quite a while and talk about everyday things--make light conversation.
I understand
I get it
Sometimes you just need another person there---another human being to make you feel normal, reassured, alive.
I can't cure him
I can't take away all of his fear and pain
I can't even promise him that he will see his granddaughter's next birthday
But I can be present--be with him---let him know that he is not alone
And I can give him
Hope that everything will be allright.....just maybe not in the way he thought it would be
And yes,
I'm sure of it...
I know...
hope that everything will be
Way better than he could ever have imagined